Bag of Air Fever

Bag of Air fever comes around every 4 years. It is wide spread round the world and affects mostly on men. Some women do catch this fever but it is not as wide spread among them.

This fever makes men loses their sleep and they tend to get overly excited and all fire up. When the fever is at its peak, it is best to leave men on their own in their thoughts. Their eyes will only glue to the idiot box and is oblivious to any happenings in their surroundings. Any minor interruptions or any wrong words will cause them to flare up inevitably. They can become agitated, impatient, noisy, swearing and loud mouth for unknown reasons. It seems to bring the worst out of them. Every now & then they will jump up, punch into the air with their fist and rub their hand with glees. Or they sometime will groan, flop into the seat and look dejected.

Funnily, if you put all the men with this fever together, they can be very communicative. They will now and then pat each other on the shoulder, do the Mexican wave, smile or cry. Even to the extent of consoling one other if they are dejected. They are some how more generous and willing to share their beers, chocolates, nuts and any other food at hand which they seldom do when they are well.

If there are no idiot boxes around, they become frigidity. They will circle like hawk looking for one and continue to do so until they find one. You may find them at their mate’s home, the mamak shop, kopi tiam or anywhere that has an idiot box.

During this time, they do not mate. They neglect their spouse and family. They have no inkling to do any other things. For some unknown reason, they do continue to go to work with their baggy eyes. They will wake up late or not sleep at all, skip breakfast and be late for work. At work they will be cranky, ill temper and unproductive. They are agitated, discomposed, disconcerted, on the edge and worked up and will have no mood for work. Surprisingly, their bosses seems to understand and tolerant during this epidemic. However, if they are in contact with someone carrying this fever, their whole being changes. They become chatty and relax.

These unpredictable moods, sometime breaks up good marriages. Smart spouses will keep away from them. They will either be shopping & spending all the money with all the others neglected spouses or they will be on extended holiday. The men will not be any wiser.

Oh, one important observation. When the fever is at its peak, the men do not watch just anything on the idiot box. They watch one important channel that broadcast 22 grown men in colour jerseys and knee high socks, aimlessly chasing after a bag of air and trying to kick it in between 2 poles.

Medical expert call this fever “Football Fever” but ask their spouses, they will tell you that a bag of air.